Monday, July 04, 2011
Thursday, October 25, 2007
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Monday, September 10, 2007
Jumpin's Jackpot!
Nung una di ko malaman kung para san sya or kung anong ginagawa nya. I had to read the instructions to realize that it's a 'virtual' or better yet a jump-rope-simulator. I didn't try it, kulang ako sa kapal ng mukha para i-try sya.
Tsaka baka nakakatatlong talon pa lang ako eh sukuan ko na sya 
Highway to Hell
And so, the story goes...
At 6 to 7 am on a Saturday, Aguinaldo Highway is just starting to fill-up with all types of vehicles. And its also the time when most of the PUBs (public utility buses) start coming out of their garages to start picking up commuters going to Manila. I had to take one of those buses. There are several of them lined up in front of Robinson's Dasmarinas. San Agustin, Jasper, Crow and several others. I had to pick one, so i boarded the San Agustin Bus nearest to where i was at.
..then the roller coaster ride begins...
The bus started going even before my other foot stepped on the bus' 'door-steps'. The driver and the bus conductor was telling me 'kapit lang boss, kapit'. (Good. How nice of them to think of your safety). With the other buses strolling beside each other, the literal 'roller-coaster' ride begins.
The road is wide enough to fit two buses side-by-side (four if its two way). But that brings the buses only several inches away from each other (say about a foot or less). Think how close race cars get to each other in NASCAR racing. Now imagine the buses doing something similar on a busy highway. Fun!
...now the 'fun' part...
A lot of commuters are starting to pile-up on the sides of the road to wait for their bus rides. And a lot of buses are coming and going on busy street intersections to pick up those commuters. That's the 'fun' part.
Since there are a lot of buses, picking up commuters is like a competition to the bus drivers. All of them want to get the commuters first. They'll do anything out of their powers to get to the commuters before the others does. Forget that the road is only wide enough for small vehicles, what's important is they get the advantage over the 'competition'. They'll cut the others off, they'll swerve both sides to block the trailing buses, they'll speed up just to catch-up with the 'leading' bus, all these while ignoring innocent pedestrians and private vehicles who are also part of the busy highway. In fact, the bus i'm in nearly wiped-out a Tamaraw-FX when it suddenly tried to swerve and change lanes in front of it. This got the FX drivers so mad, that when we had to stop for a stoplight, the driver (FX) got out of his ride, went straight towards the bus door, with his face all-red and angry. He was shouting and cursing at the bus driver. The bus driver on the other hand, just acted innocently, as if nothing happened (Bakit sir?! Anong problema??... Pasensya na... Di ko napansin...). The shouting has gotten the bus conductor 'mad', he came storming from the back of the bus going to the front asking the driver what the problem is, telling him to bring out their 'tubo'. The driver calmed him down, saying 'Wag na, bayaan mo na, maaga pa para mang-away'. O_o
And despite that encounter, they still continued with their ways. They bully they're way around other buses and vehicles. They fight for position like how basketball players fight for position against the opposing player. They speed through the narrow high-way like race cars racing through a long straight. They're like predators locking in on their targets and trying to beat the others to a single 'prey'. It's crazy.
.. i survived the ride ..
That was how it was for the whole 40-45 minutes of the ride, from Dasma to Bacoor. You can hear the driver and his side-kick laughing when they beat another bus to waiting commuters, or when they overtake another. They even compete with buses belonging to the same bus company they belong to.
I'm just wondering what these guys think while they plow the roads mindlessly everyday. I know they're just working hard to provide for their families, i know that since traffic is so bad nowadays, the only way to earn more is to get more "byahe's". But, they are doing this at the expense of safety, not only of the people inside the bus, but also of the people outside.
Good thing i am used to this kind of thing. I had been going through this kind of 'adventure' since i was in college. Luckily, nothing bad has happened to me yet while riding those buses. Anyone not used to going through that kind of 'driving' will likely get a heart attack if ever they get through one.
.. Why i wrote this ..
...is because, i will soon be going through that bus route everyday. I have to be ready for that kind of adventure again. And until i get my own ride, i have to endure that experience everyday.
If you go through that same thing everyday, then i wish you luck everyday.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Joke joke muna
When she is ready, the doc says, "Big breaths."
"Yeth," she replies, "and I'm only thixthteen!"
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An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father cursed her.
Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million."
"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug."
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A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
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A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.
He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.
"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."
The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.
"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.
"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"
"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."
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A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."
After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
"Daddy, does God love children?"
"Yes son, he loves all children."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
Source: Jokes@Comedy Central