I am not bitter. Let me make it clear. I just felt the need to right something about this. A few things had happened these past few days that pushed me to do this.
She was my girlfriend for 4 years. She was my bestfriend then. She knew all my problems. We shared every joy and pain. We knew everything about each other during those times. She was the only person that i can open my whole self to. We spent most of the four years building a very strong bond with each other.
Everything seemed perfect for a very lasting relationship. Or mayber not. Never had it crossed my mind that we would end up parting ways. And never did i think that the reason we would break-up is because of another guy. I hadn't had any clue what happened then. And i can't imagine what i did that made her fall for the other guy. No clues, no hints, i just woke up one day finding out that it was not me anymore.
I was devastated. I was in shock for quite a time. I was in pain after realizing that the person i spent 4 yrs with, the person that i called my girl, the person i considered my bestfriend, has slipped away from me.
I spent a long time trying to recover from what had happened. I took me a while to accept that things are over between us. It was very hard for me to let go of the feeling. It cost me a lot of sleepless nights trying to convince my self to move on.
I went on with my life. I finally accepted everything. And slowly i'm becoming happy again. The hurt had faded away. The wound was all healed. And i've already found someone i can share my life with again. I am happy again.
Then out of nowhere. There she was. Telling me she misses our times together. Giving hints that she wants to come back. Telling me that she misses her "bestfriend". I can't imagine calling her my "bestfriend" anymore. I left that behind when she left me. How could i consider someone my bestfriend if she hid things from me, moreover hurt me. I can't. I can never call her my bestfriend anymore. Not today, not in the coming days, never. Yeah, she's still a friend. But that's the farthest it will go. There's no chance of me coming back to her. No way. I was hurt, i was destroyed. And now that i have rebuilt myself, i won't be going back to that person that shattered my life. I didn't fix myself just to end up going back to her. No. I've moved on, and there's no turning back. What happened had happened. It wasn't my choice, and it won't be my choice to get it back. There won't be anything in this world that could make me accept her back in my life. Not a thing.
I feel sorry for her. She chose a life where she's not sure if she's happy or not. I feel even more sorry for her that it's only now that she's realizing the things she did. I'm happy now where i am. I've found someone who's more deserving of my love. I know that this someone is the one whom i will love for the rest of my life. I won't let anything take my happiness away from me. Not even someone whom i used to call my "bestfriend".
Friends is the best we can be. I cannot consider her my bestfriend anymore. And i cannot let her enter my life again, because what she did is forever etched in my mind. I've forgiven her, but the thoughts of the things she did still wander in my head. Never will i allow myself to be in that situation again. And never will it be with the same person who hurt me.
The door to my heart is forever locked for you
Still the windows of friendship are open
But don't expect the best window you can find
For those windows are only for people who i can truly trust.
17 comments:
i love you honey!!!
ouch!
well i think i deserved it. guess i asked for it.
i believe i was really blinded.
i may have never told you how sorry i am for what i have done to you,but i really do. i may seem unhappy now, but thats my choice.i have my own crossroads too.
i lost a best friend before. it hurts so much. and i am glad that i was able to rebuild that friendship again, and never will i have that situation again. that's why, though you did not consider me as your bestfriend anymore, you cannot force me not to consider you as one.
i am really happy for you now, having found the girl that would make you happy. (though it may sound "plastic", i really do wish the both of you happiness, AND I WILL NOT BE THE ONE CAUSING ANY TROUBLE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.)
i would just like to say that i am not hinting that i want to "get you back". it may seem like that, but it didn't. i am merely missing the friendship i had in you. as ive told you, you are, and will always be my bestfriend though you treat me otherwise.
if i hadn't done such "actions" these past few days, i think we wouldnt come at this situation. im not lying that i miss you, but as ive told you, im missing the bestfriend i had with you.
frankly, i havent heard such harsh things before from you. i guess i might have "crossed the border" really bad this time. accept my apologies for such actions. i do not mean any harm on the relationship you have right now.
just to clear things out... i am not hinting on "getting you back", what i am wishing is to bring the friendship we had. i know its impossible right now, and i accept that.
thanks for everything. i wish you all the best, God knows how thankful i am of Him for bringing you to my life.
*****************
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
*****
just want to post the lyrics, kinda touched me lately.
but dont think of this as romantic "thingie" ok
im just realizing the advices you gave me ok.
no other meaning intented.
there are things that are hard to accept...sometimes it happens becuase of what we've done...the thing is we should learned from that...
sana lang matanggal na yung pain or galit kasi happy naman na tayo eh... ang pangit naman na andun pa din yung sama ng loob natin sa ibang tao...i just want our relationship not bonded with negative feelings...iwanan na natin kung ano yung nangyari sa past...let's just think of our future... ;)
love you honey
to Anonymous...
sorry if this came too harsh... maybe i just put myself during those times too deeply... maybe i was carried away by what i felt back then...
it wasn't my intention to hurt you with what i wrote... i know that some of what i wrote are a bit exaggerated... maybe i just chose the wrong words to express it...
but, i don't regret writing this... i just regret the way i delivered the message... maybe, i just want to let the reader know how i felt before... that's the word there "BEFORE"...
it's not like this now... the bring back thingie was, i admit, off the line... but the bestfriend part, i'm quite sure... as i said, we're still friends, but not in the level that we were before... i know you know that too, that that can't be brought back again...
i chose to be your friend again, i promised you that before, and i lived that promise... i know and i understand that you miss the friendship we had... i missed that too before, but i forgot about that when i moved on, coz that's one reason i was hurt then.
Again sorry if this came out harsh...
No comment...basta kung san ka masaya dun ka...ano daw?
it had sounded harsh, but i understand why you have felt that way. its just that i felt that it was way too late that you have expressed this sentiments of yours so openly and "harshly". i guess i had just pushed you to your limit last time.
i really wish you well. you deserve to be happy.i can tell that you really are in love right now. your girl should realize now how lucky she is to find you. as a friend, we are just here to support you in everything you do.
in my view, you can never say that you consider a person ur friend if you have such hatred in your heart. well maybe like what you've said, you've just got carried away... hmmmm...
moving on means putting the past, as in everything from it, behind... for you can never be truly happy with your present and your future if you have even the tiniest bit of anger/hatred in your heart... you know, like what we usually see on tv, your hatred/anger will haunt you eventually... maybe not now, not even in the near future but surely it'll come out of you (its like a time bomb you know...)
forgive and forget... (i feel really silly to share my thoughts with regards to forgiving and forgetting (",))... its hard i know pero you are saying na that you've forgiven her na... well yeah maybe you've forgiven her with all that she has done but you have to forget them too you know... :) as ms_taray said, masaya naman na kyo dba? so maybe magandang good vibes nlang ang i-entertain mo when it comes kay ex mo. i mean nagalit ka noon but hey try to forget it na at nang mawala na yang pagiging 'harsh' mo kay ex mo (friends kayo dba nga?)...
i just hope you find your true happiness, well if you already did, i wish you the best!
to your ex, i wish you all the best... dont worry girl, i can feel that you're truly sorry for wat you've done (feeling close hehehe) and i just hope you can find your true happiness too! and u know what, wat i like about you is that you are humble enough to admit what u've done and be sorry for everything... sana maging friends na nga kyo ni mr_sungit(ehem mr_sungit, totoong friends ha at nde para masabi lang fwends... peace out man!).
to ms_taray.. bilib din ako sa'yo... go girl! at least you are not like the other girls na promoting a fight pa between the Ex-es... go girl! be happy... :)
yun lang!
remember: everything happens with a purpose... we just have to search for that purpose and learn to understand it...
God bless people and Peace!
Once you love a person, that person will never ever leave your heart, that's a reality. I truly believe when love is lost, it was never love at all. We may have difficulties accepting what had happened in the past, or some choices that we regret we ever made. But it is these choices that make us, it builds our character.
I firmly believe that it is very difficult to be bestfriends, even friends after a failed relationship, been there, done that. All we can do is to make the most out of the situation, without bickering, without going reminiscing the past, maybe the two of you can be less than a friend but more than an acquantance.. Let us just all look forward to the future and wish one another the best in life..
Anyway, here are my wishes for you...
To PPG Buttercup (dahil sha ay naka-green),happiness and serenity within... Luv yah!
To MisterSungit, love to last a lifetime.. (or more than a lifetime, as in, forever)..
yun lang...
The Cynical Biatch...
Miss_MaKooLiT
miss_makoolit
ang kulit mo
luv yah din! my name starts with M
ooops sino iniisip mong M ha, uyyyyyy
parang out of topic na, but all i can say is that like our friendship (ms maakoolit and i), it had also undergone a difficult time, and i might say, a little the same as that as what mr_sungit and i had gone through, but thanks to Him, ms makoolit and i became best of friends again.it had helped us to treasure our friendship more.
love ya friend.
to PPG Blossom and Bubbles (kaso orange yun e d ba pero me pagka pink din) ask ko lang sino si Mojo Jojo... hmmmm. baka pdeng so Mojo Joko Diaz??? hehehe
love you guys talaga!
and thanks to the "publisher" of this post. it has helped me a lot specially in my relationships. best wishes (nyeks, parang pang kasal yun a) dont worry, no more bad feelings naman, sana sa yu din mr author.
ahmmm... i really started something with this post... hehehehehehehe
one request lang... sa mga anonymous... care to share your identity naman... pls...
to didik (hehehehehehehehehe... o yan ha... pet name mo na tawag ko sa yo...)... it's like a wound, when its fresh, it'll surely hurt, but in time it will heal, and eventually you will forget about it. but once you remember that you were wounded, you'll see a scar there, a scar that forever will be there.. it does not hurt anymore, but the scar is there... siguro, ang nangyari kung bakit ko nasulat to, bigla ako napatingin sa salamin, at nakita ko ung scar, naalala ko kung pano ko nakuha ung scar na yun, then i decided to write someting about it, masakit ung sugat dati, at bigla ko naramdman ung paghihirap ko sa paggamot ko ng sugat na un, naisulat ko ung naramdaman ko nun... at eto ang produkto nun.. tanong lang, hindi mo pa ba nakita at naramdaman na tinanggap na ulit kita bilang kaibigan? nilunok ko na nga at binreak ung promise ko sa sarili ko na "you do not exist, you did not exist", dahil ok na naman di ba? dumadating lang talaga ung panahon na mapapansin at makikita mo ulit ung "scar"... sana tapos na tong issue na to... friends naman tayo di ba? *wink*...
to miss_makoolit, thanks. thanks. thanks. lab talaga kita!!! *wink*
to mstaray
meet my makokoolit na friends... hihihihhihihi... love you!!!
oist joy-joy, regarding sa sugat mo, i understand naman po e,mejo nashock nga lang ako, pero nag mellow na nga. and yun nga, im happy ngayon, kse because of this post naging close ulit kme ng mahal ko, at naging mas open na.also nagbonging ulit ang PPG (ewan ko lang kung me connect nga dito, hahaha). maybe "nasanggi" nga ulit yung scar kaya naremeber mo yung hardships. ibili na lang kya kita nun "rose hip" ba yun yung sa home tv shopping, pang remove ng scar, hehehe.
also, regarding yung post mo, mejo parang out of character lang kse sa yu yung mga binitiwan mong salita, kya ang dating e harsh, kse we know you e.
all i can say is, box office tong thread na to!!!(si mojo jojo d nagpopost, gawan mo din kaya ng entry sa blog mo...)
to the another anonymous...
pareho tayo ng name??? hehehe
sige next time gagawa na talga ako ng identity.
regarding this
" humble enough to admit what u've done and be sorry for everything "
ill admit, i was too proud pa before. ngayon lang talaga ako naging sobrang humble sa pagapologize. and its nice to have your apology accepted.
hi! im anonymous #3. hehehe! ja9 po hehe! ala lang mangungulit lang,ako na lang kc di nagrireact eh nakikigulo na din.
to mrSungit and miss anonymous... i agree wid miss makoolit... we cannot do anything about the past but accept it. mrSungit,as i've told you medyo harsh nga un original post mo...but u explained ur side and i'm sure miss anonymous understand it clearly. well,both sides explained their point,admitted their mistakes,and at the same time accepted the apology of the other. right?
at sana nga tapos na tong isyung 'to. u were happy with each other. and now u're both happy with ur own lives, and i guess that's enough reason to set aside the anger,bitterness,or whatever negative feelings u had.
to both of u,mrsungit and ms anonymous, stay happy. good luck! :)
to PPG (di ko alam names nung lahat hehe)... ala lang.hehe!luv u! :) syempre nagkulitan tayo d2 di naman atin tong blog. hehe! im sure mrSungit doesn't mind...hehe ;)
i do mind... masungit nga ko sa anonymous di ba? hehehhehehehe... sino ba yang PPG na yan??? at ilang anonymous na kayo... nalilito na ko... di ko na alam kung sino ang nagsasabi ng kung ano... ehehehehehehehe
josme, PPG lang e, ano ka ba nde nanood ng cnk?
power puff girls noh. kaya nga si mojo joko diaz si poging pogi at gentleman les e, hehehe
e sino yung anonyous no. 2???
sungit mo talaga, enjoy nga tong thread na to e :D
parang telenovela
eh nagpakilala naman ako noh. sungit!! hmmppp!! - ja9
hello!!! alam ko ung PPG... na-gets ko na nung huli... ang di ko lang nagets eh si mojo jojo... at teka... outkast na ba ko? sino ako dun??? haahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
grabe ha... emerald... heheheheh... ja9 ikaw na lang walang identity... hehehehehe...
grabe sobrang OT (off-topic) na ng nasa comments... hehehehehe... pero oks lang... sikat ang post na to grabe!!! hahahahahahahaah
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