the year that is, and the year that was

another year, another time to think of what god has in store for us for the whole year. time also to formulate the infamous "new year's resolution".

before i go on to the new year, i just want to look back at the year i'll be leaving behind. 2004 has not been one that i can call a good year. i started the year without a job, and stayed jobless for four months (four long months). i mostly enjoyed those four months giving my body some rest (i only had a one month rest after college graduation, i started working already one month after graduating, it actually is the longest vacation i had since i started attending school). those four months i spent at home, i used to do whatever it is i wasn't able to do when i was working. i did some catching up with some friends from college. it just so happened that there were three of us then that were jobless, so we mostly spent time catching up with each other's lives.
that four months also brought a relationship i was in, to an end. its sad but, i don't regret the decision. i've thought about it before deciding on breaking up with her. i was just guilty doing it a day before valentine's day (bad!).
i finally had a job on May. but it was just a project based/contractual job. and it was with the same company that terminated us the previous year (geezzz!! i need the money... so what!??). so i was tied up with a 3 month contract, or so i believed... when i recieved the contract, it was stated there that i'll be signed for 6 months. i wasn't able to do anything. i need the job. so there i was again, working again for the company that turned their back to me. it was ok. i needed the money. badly.
my first month's stay with the company had me doing the same things i did when i was still a regular employee. the job assignment was different with my agreement with my employer/contractor.. but it was ok. i needed the job. and the money. eventually, i was re-assigned to another project, a better project, the one i agreed to be assigned to. thank god. i couldn't stand going to Laguna everyday anymore. thank god!
my contract was til november, but it was extended until november. that is even if i'm not doing much at work. i was almost lucky though, since i almost flew to the US for business meetings with our client. almost. i even had my visa approved already. all i needed was a plane ticket and a go signal to go there. but at the last minute, our meetings were postponed, oh cancelled, since the module i'm working in was scrapped. there goes my chance to set foot in another country. (insert sigh smiley here). but it's ok, maybe its just not the time for me. maybe there's another time. maybe. some day. (insert sigh smiley here).
but one thing i won't forget about 2004 is the last two months. it was when i found out that i could still love again (insert grin smiley here). i met her at the office. actually i know her already since i first started working for the company (2001). but 2004 gave us a chance to be close with each other, and eventually be together.
there are some other notable things that happened. most notable was the lose of a loved one, and a friend. my grandmother died on october, she died of old age. and a barkada(Jerry) died of cancer on december.
so, looking back again, i can say that 2004 wasn't that bad after all. i just had some things i wanted to do and accomplish but wasn't able to do so. but on the bright side, i gained some things i didn't expect getting at the start of the year. not good, but not that bad after all.
and so that was the year 2004 for me.

going to the new year, 2005.

i can't say i'm not expecting much. in fact, i'm planning a lot. the only thing i'm hoping for is that i live to what i plan on accomplishing this year. i've read that the year of the rooster doesn't promise much in terms of progress. i hope this would not be true for all people. i have so much in mind this year, that i don't want anything to hinder me from getting everything i want to have this year. i have to work for them. i have to work hard to be able to accomplish what i want to. that's why i think i should look at my life in a different perspective this year in order to be more focused in what i want to do. i have to forget some things in order for my mind to process other things that need to be thought of more. things that should have been thought of a couple of years back. this year therefore would be the best time to think about them better, for if i don't start now, i might be too late thinking about them a couple of years from now. so, its clear what i need to do this year, start thinking of the future more, lessen the times i enjoy only the moments in front of me. i must think not only of tomorrow, but also of the weeks, months, and years to come. time's not a friend when it comes to accomplishing things. it always leaves you behind whenever you just sit back and watch it pass by. this year, i become a better person, a better individual, a better son, a better citizen, a better loved one. this year, i'll do it all, i'll work hard to fulfill my dreams. this year, i'll lay a definite path i'll follow, i'll start building my future. this year, i'll start them all. this year, i will.