lazy day at work

hay naku... nakakatamad... it's raining outside... it's the perfect time to just stay at home, watch tv, and just waste the day lying on my bed... kaya lang, eto, kailangan pumasok, kahit walang masyadong ginagawa...

haaaayyyy... and it's just 11:30 in the morning... it's still a long day... :sigh:

the championship round

We, the orange E-racing team are delighted to have squeezed out of the semis of our league. we won the deciding match last night. we had all the luck we needed. thought the game was a bit controversial, our desire to win still prevailed. so now, we elevated ourselves, again, to the best of 3 championship round. as of writing this, i still don't know who won the other game last night. the winner of that game will be our opponent in the finals.

kudos to the our team for grabbing a seat in the finals of our basketball tournament! May the force be with us all!!

a side note: i got six points last night, all from the 3 point arc. cheers to me, as they are the only three point attempts i tried all season, and i made them both!

win or go home

it's win or go home for us tonight... winner tonight will advance to the finals, loser will settle for third or fourth place... our twice to beat advantage has been wiped out... this will be a tough match... this will be emotional... this will prove who deserves the championship better... hopefully we win this one... we have to give it our best... no room for errors, no place for mistakes... its a must win...

i wish our team the best

to the Orange E-racing basketball team! good luck! and may we have all the powers needed to bag this one..

May the force be with us!!!

Championship round, HERE WE COME!!!

playgroundz cup 2005

an ode to her

after a hard day at work
i look forward to getting home
always eager to have a sight of her
seeing her dancing around her small room
takes away all the stress from the day
though she does her things
in the quiet of herself
you can see in her
the joy of seeing you at home with her
though we see each other every night
still you'll see in her eyes
she misses not having your sight
so each night before i sleep
i make it a point to commune with her
even if commune means just to sit beside her
the bond between us just gets better...

rants, raves & nonsense v2

i'm sleepy... i wish i'm at home, in front of the tv, watching the pistons and heat battle it out to determine who'll face the spurs in the nba finals, or just lie on my bed, hug my pillow tight, and spend the whole day sleeping (better if it rains hard, so the weather cools a bit)... sigh... instead i'm here at the office, staring at my monitor, pretending to be doing something, when in fact, i've already finished what i'm suppossed to do for today.

it's a good thing we can browse through the web here, even if i can't watch the eastern conference finals game 7, i can monitor the scores in the numerous sports pages available. I also won't be bored much because i have my iPod for listening to music.

ooooohhhhh... hindi ko maisip... kung wala ka... oooohhhhh... sa buhay ko....

Non-sense naman tong pinapagawa sa amin eh... they want us to prepare something for our BAs, a sort of proof that we tested the functions we created, and a copy of the data we used in testing... i bet they won't look at any of these docs... would you care reading the contents of a text file with 300,000+ lines???

Thank God i'm finished with those docs. That frees me up for today. I don't have any scheduled activities yet. Tinatamad naman ako anyway, so even if i have some tasks today, i'll most likely not do them, harharharhar...

to be, is all i gotta be, and all that i see, and all that i need this time, to me, the life you gave, the day you said goodnight...
she's already taken, she's already taken, she's already taken me, she's already taken, she's already taken, she's already taken me...
the day you said goodnight....

My head aches, kelangan kong itulog to, kaya lang, hindi pwede. Haaaaayyyyy life.....

Pasaway ako kaya kahit hindi pwede, matutulog ako!!! HarHarHarHar

coz there's a blue sky, waiting tomorrow, waiting tomorrow, shining and shimmering, a blue sky, waiting tomorrow, baby it's all we need...

Nakakabore... gusto kong humiga... namimiss ko kama ko...

Buti na lang, Hale's pumping up in the background, straight from my iPod... somehow tanggal ang boredom.. with matching sabay pa ako sa pagkanta...

i need you here tonight, i need you here inside, i need you here tonight, i really really need you here.. tonight...

Maka-isip na nga ng ibang gagawin!!! Haaaaaayyyyy....

daydreaming

Five in the morning. I'm battling with myself, resisting the urges to just lay there close my eyes and feel the soft sheets against my back. I have to get up, even if its against my will.

I turned to the opposite side of the bed, and there beside me, as she always is, having that very innocent look and that very lovely face. Waking up with the sight of her can't be beat by anything. It's the most spectacular feeling i've ever felt.

I could spend the whole morning just staring at her. But i have to get up. This is her day. We have what we call a "royalty" day. You spend the day being the king/queen, if its your scheduled day. We do this only once a month, and today happens to be her day. So i have to get up and start serving my queen.

I sat up, looked at her one final time, gave her a light kiss (just a small touch of the lips to her forehead, since i don't want to wake her up yet), and started uncovering myself from the sheets. I reached for my slippers under the bed, and started for the restroom. I walked as silently as i can. Though the door to the bathroom is just a few paces away from the bed, it seemed to me like a mile away. It's like walking clandestinely to an imaginary target, trying your best to do it with complete stealth in order not to be noticed by anything around.

I finished my morning rituals as quickly as possible and as fast as i can so that i can start preparing breakfast for my queen. I headed to the door of our room and went down the stairs to our kitchen. Its still dark, the sun does not rise until six am during this month.

First off is for me to have a cup of coffee, to give me a little perk. I just realized, it was quite cold, so the coffee would help me to warm up a bit.

I went to the fridge to get some eggs and the ham i bought yesterday before we got home. I had trouble finding the pan i'll use for cooking, but found it anyway after several minutes of opening and closing cabinet doors. I still have a difficult time memorizing where everything is hidden, but i'm sure i'll get used to knowing where to find anything i need.

I took a sip of my coffee before starting to cook the egg and the ham. I also took out the bread slices we've had since two days ago, and placed two of them in the toaster. I browsed through the mail we got yesterday as i waited for the egg and ham and toasts to cook. We weren't able to go through the mail last night since we got home very late and tired.

The toasts are done, as well as the first of the two eggs. The ham's still cooking, as i placed the second batch of slices in the toaster. I took another sip of coffee then went to tidy up the place a little. I finished cooking before i got halfway through my coffee. I was also done tidying up around. I set-up the breakfast tray and prepared my queen's breakfast. I have some instant fruit juice to come along with her toast, egg and ham.

I went upstairs with the breakfast treat for my queen. When i entered the door. I saw her there, still curled up in bed, the way i left her earlier. She's still there staring at me innocently, with pillows encased in her arms, and the sheets down to her waist.

As i laid down the breakfast tray on the table beside the bed, i can't stop thinking how lucky i am having her as my "queen". I'm so thankful she's with me here right now. Waking up with her every morning gives me such a feeling of awe, and exhilaration. It makes me smile every morning i see her staring right back at me, wearing that innocent smile. It really completes your day even before it starts. I won't trade that feeling with any other feeling.

I just sat beside her. watching her sleep through the rest of the early morning. i decided against waking her up for breakfast. I decided to just sit there and watch her sleep, and spend the rest of the morning thinking how lucky i am waking up beside the most wonderful person, and the most precious part of my life, my queen, my wife.

rants, raves & nonsense v1

to your superiors, you're busy, but you're not busy enough, so to make you busier, you get loaded with additional tasks to complete.
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speaking in general, you're good, but you're not good enough, so you strive harder to bring yourself closer to perfection.

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today's our code cut-off, but i'm not sure if this is something to rave about, it just means our days of staring at the monitor and punching at the keyboard's keys will be put at an end (at least for the time being). the real score is after we pass this codes for review, are we good, or are we headed to the water lilies (read: pupulutin sa kangkungan)?
we'll see....
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ano nga ba ang english ng masungit???

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it's 11:14 am, and i'm already sleepy... or is it i'm still sleepy? i'm excited about the weekend... i can finally have some decent amount of sleep... i just hope it will rain tomorrow morning, it'll be the perfect way to make up for lost dream time... hehehehehehe
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sunday's scheduled for food tasting at Tamayo's in Villa Imaculada (Intramuros, Manila). it will also be a chance to see how San Agustin church is decorated for wedding celebrations. Sunday will be cool! errrrrr... maybe not, the weather's still sizzling hot, by the way...

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my fiancee bought me a canned sweetened mango juice... i'm staring at it right now... she bought it more than a week ago... canned drinks do make good displays in office desks, or good paper weights, or maybe good weapons of retaliation, should my bosses start bugging me again... i haven't opened the can yet, by the way...
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"look me in the eye
and reach for my soul
touch me where i'll feel it
it won't be hard
just keep your cool
you just hold out your hand
wait for me to mellow down
eventually i'll reach out
i'll be the one to hold your hand"

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back to work... time to get my shell scripts out... time to do some final checking... maybe later i'll get back here..
ciao!

fooling around with photos...

photos i got from our trip to corregidor island



some photos from our outreach program in baseco compound




errr... guess who's in the photo... :-)

another must have album for me...

track list

1.	Take No
2.	Broken Sonnet
3.	Blue Sky
4.	The Day You Said Goodnight
5.	Wishing
6.	Here Tonight
7.	Kahit Pa
8.	Life Support
9.	Underneath The Waves
10.	Runaway
11.	Bent Down
12.	Kung Wala Ka

another nice find... with their carrier single "Broken Sonnet", this OPM band has captured the listening ears of many young pinoys... now their out with their first, self-titled album.. got hold of mp3 copies of their songs, and man! they're good! i like all of the tracks... their melo-dramatic sound is light enough for easy listening, but there's still a tinge of "alternativish" rock effect that just sets your mood up... i hope i can add this album to my collection... off to the record bars!! (IF... IF i get the money for it...)

another album i want in my collection:

busy daw

i've been busy the past two weeks.

oo.. busy... totoo to... walang halong biro... at lalong hindi kalokohan...

it's been a while since the last time na naging "busy" talaga ako. The module assigned to our group needed to be rushed to development, kaya yun, habol habol kme sa schedule. From design and analysis, nasa coding and unit testing naman kme ngayon. Grabe, the coding phase schedule given to us was very tight, as in TIGHT. 2 codes were assigned to me, both to be finished and readied for code review in 3 days. Whew! Buti na lang medyo madali lang napunta sa akin na function. Yun lang, sumakit naman ang kamay ko kaka-pindot ng keyboard. Sobrang dami ng tinype ko for a very simple code with a very simple functionality. Wala eh... Ganun talaga...

Ngayon, medyo relax ako... hehehehehe... marami pang gagawin, pero tapos ko na ung sa akin... pwede ako humingi ng gagawin pero hindi ako humihingi, ayaw ko eh. pahinga muna ko. relax muna. na-miss ko mga ginagawa ko pag wala akong ginagawa. (huh!?) na-miss ko magbasa ng blog ng mga friendly friends ko. na-miss kong mag surf lang maghapon. na-miss ko magsulat sa blog na to. na-miss kong... uhm... wala na pala. :-D

haaaayyyy... makahingi na nga ng gagawin sa PL ko...

nah!! mamaya na lang! hahahahahahahahahahahaha

good bye itunes! hello ml_iPod!!!

i've been using itunes since i first started using my iPod... but that first time instantly made me say iTunes suck! but i was forced to use it since there are no other alternative programs for managing iPod music (at least the free ones).

but luckily i came upon this great plug-in for Winamp (ml_iPod)... it provides Winamp Media Library with the ability to read your iPod and let you sync and reverse sync music files to your iPod!

and it's free!

and it runs in WinAmp!

great!

an old piece

i was going through my old things the other night and i stumbled upon a piece of paper where an poem i composed was written. it was dated 04121998.

as i read the poem i caught my self smiling, not because of the story behind the poem, but its relevance with what's happening to a friend of mine currently.

so this poem is for my friend... hehehehehe... read on...

i've always kept this feeling
in my heart, deep within
it's about how much i care for you
of how much my heart beats for you
i don't know how to tell you about it
i can't find the words that would fit
i've tried to tell you once
but you turned down my only chance
so now i'm afraid to speak
the rejection made me so weak

but to tell you, you're still in my heart
nothing yet can tear my feelings apart
my heart still beats for you
i've never looked at someone new
i've taken every chance to show you i care
i tried to always be there
when you have problems to share
i've always been ready to give help
whenever you're in need and can't do things yourself
i've tried everything i can to make you happy
even if it means i should be lonely

but no matter what you do
it will still be you
nothing can change what i feel
it will be you still
even if you give your heart to someone
you will still be the one
i'll still wait for the time
when you'll finally be mine
when you can accept me for what i am
when you'll reach for my heart saying
that one sweet line

i'll still hope for that day
when we can walk hand in hand
when we can let time pass with you in my arms
i'll still hope for that moment
when i can share with you all the happiness in the world
all the beauty that's with it
all the wonders it can offer to both you and me

i hope that time would come
when i can finally live the dream that you're mine
and live that wish that i've wished
all this time

i hope that day would still come...

wheeew...

salamat!!! i finally passed an initial draft of my design to our BA's. I was able to finish the document in just two days. Normally it would take such a design at least a week or two to finish, but since we were given a tight deadline, i was forced to finish it in less than a week, from reviewing the requirements and making the design documents. But it doesn't end there, because the initial draft is considered only as 75% complete. After the review, i expect several changes still, but it won't be as demanding as with the passing of the initial draft. So now, i have time to relax a bit., though i'm still working on the design document.

This gave me the time to post a new entry here. The holy week has just passed, but somehow i didn't feel it. Unlike the previous years, holy week has lost some, if not most of its solemnity. At least for me. Add to it the fact that i was alone at home during the week. Usually my family prays together on Good Friday. But not this year. Because my family's on vacation. So, left by myself at home, i didn't observe that usual practice this year. i didn't even go to church on sunday for the easter mass. bad bad me. hehehehehe.

home alone, in a graveyard, missing you

graveyard shift..

so here i am... wide awake when everyone else is fast asleep...
i've been in this shift before so i'm not new to this. but there's something new. i'm missing someone i used to be with everyday. now, we're on different shift, so we'll hardly see each other for the week. it's quite sad. and the worst is, this is just the first day. *sigh*
i'm not yet busy right now. i don't have any documents yet that i can use to start with my design. so i'm just here blogging at the moment to kill some time. i'll be in a conference call later, in about half an hour. there i'll have a chance to ask for any documents i'd be needing for my design.
i just hope i can get hold of those documents as soon as possible, so that i can start my design. my deadline is 5 days from now so i have to start working. but, i can't, even if i wanted to. *sigh*

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alone at home

currently in night shift... and currently alone at home... yup... everyone in our house is out, except for me... my sister's gone for a vacation. so is my dad and mom. mom and dad will be out for the week. my sister's on the way home, but she'll follow my mom and dad on wednesday. if i wasn't in a tight deadline, i would have joined them, but, unfortunately for me, i'll be spending the holy week here at the office, and i'll be up at night and asleep during the day. talk about sacrifices... *sigh*

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missing her

speaking of sacrifices... *sigh* being in night shift means i have to work on a different schedule with my honey... *sigh* and that means we'll hardly see each other for a week... *sigh* sad *sigh* i miss my honey... *sigh*

drool... drool... drool...

i'm a Sony Ericsson user... okay!!

so these phones make me drool

**click on the images and follow the link :-D

work shift change, a busted finger, and a rainy summer

beating the deadline
Ok, so we were given a bunch of work to do, given last wednesday to us. We have to work on designing interface programs for a module of our software product. Our primary deliverable for this are the design documents. However, there are minimal support documents for us to accomplish this task. Communications are on-going to allow us to get hold of important documents we need in order to work on the design specs we need to work on. The catch is, our deadline is next week, Mar. 25, Good Friday.
We have one week to finish the design documents. One week, the whole holy week. What's bad about this is that, we still haven't have any support docs until now. So in light of this, we've readied ourselves for some overtime work, probably starting tomorrow, saturday. And, since our customer is US-based, our lead has decided to change our workshift for the whole of next week. From 8am-5pm work schedule, we'll change to 8pm-5am shift. This was done for us to have a concurrent work shift with our BAs from the US.
Night shift means being nocturnal again. This is not my first time to be assigned to night shift. But, errr, one thing i hate when in night shift is the lack of social life. Hehehehehe. Just imagine, your wide awake when everyone else is fast asleep, and you're deep in slumber when everyone else is busy going about the routines of everyday life. Oh well, at least its just for a week.
I'll get over this. But i'll surely miss my girl. We won't see each other much during my night shift sched. Sad. :-(

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bend, finger, bend!!
We had a basketball game last night. It was a good game (of course it's good! we won! and i scored!). It was our fifth game of the season, and so far so good for us. Currently, we stand at 4-1, which is good enough to be at the top of the standings. Our game last night was actually the best game we've had out of the 5 games we've played. Everything seemed to go our way last night, so cheers to our 4th win!
Too bad for my ring finger (on my right hand). He got busted (errr... okay... my term is exaggerated). I only played a few minutes, scored only two points and had a couple of rebounds and assists. Of those few minutes, i still got my finger jammed by the ball. So now, i have difficulty moving it. It won't bend as i command it. I can't clench my fist. And it's difficult for me to write, type, and even brush my teeth.
Oh, well. It's part of the game. I still am lucky its only my finger that got sprained. It would have sucked if my arm or my leg/ankle was the one busted.
Get well soon to you, my ring finger. :-P

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rain on a summer anyone?
Errr... it's supposed to be summer already. So why is it raining now. Oh, okay, a storm, right. But isn't it odd? And another thing that got me thinking is that, as i remember, it rained during the holy week the past few years. Not sure if i'm right, but that's how i remember it.
The rain is good by the way. It takes out some of the heat of the summer. But, !@#!%#!#, i still sweat a lot even if i'm not moving a muscle. It really is summer. Even the rain is not enough to cool the weather. So it'll still be hot outside. And i'll still sweat alot even if stand still. And is still just the start of summer.
#$@!@$%, bring on the rain!!! :-P

survey thingy....

uhm... found this in a friend's blog site... i have nothing to do here at the office... so here goes... hehehehe... if you have time, you can answer this as well and post it in your blog, if you have one...

here goes....

BLOGGER QUESTIONS
BEST TIME TO BLOG: errr... pag may pumasok sa isip ko... no particular time...
BEST PLACE TO BLOG: sa opis... shempre pag walang ginagawa
FIRST BLOG YOU'VE READ and WHEN: kay platypus... last year
HOW DID YOU GET INTO BLOGGING: frustrated writer ako
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST BLOG ABOUT: uhm... kung bakit ako ng-blog?
HOW OFTEN DO YOU UPDATE YOUR BLOG PAGE: uhmmm... at least once a week
WHAT'S IN YOUR BLOG: poems... kwento... kung ano nasa isip ko when i decided to blog
DO YOU READ A STRANGERS BLOG: yep
LAST BLOG PAGE YOU'VE READ: ah kay platypus
MOST INTERESTING BLOG PAGE: hhhmmmm....
ANY POPULAR PEOPLE'S BLOG PAGE YOU'VE READ: don't know any
ANY POPULAR PEOPLE'S BLOG PAGE YOU'D LIKE TO READ: wala
SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT YOUR BLOG: its a footprint of some important happenings in my life

OTHER SURVEY QUESTIONS
WHAT TIME IS IT: 9:46am
NICKNAMES: dh3nz
NUMBER OF CANDLES ON YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY CAKEisa? hehhehehehe
WHAT SIZE OF SHOES DO YOU WEAR: 9
PETS: a dog, and several aquarium fishes
IF YOUR HOUSE WAS ON FIRE, BESIDES FAMILY, WHAT WOULD YOU SAVE?: my pc... hhehehehehe
BODY PIERCING: none
EYE COLOR: dark brown
HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE YOUR JOB ON A SCALE OF 1-10: 4
FAVORITE FOODS: madami
BEEN TO AFRICA: nope
LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH IT MADE YOU CRY? errrr.... snff snff snff
BEEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT?: several times but not in serious ones... just little bumps here and there
CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? uhm... both? :-P
FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK: friday
FAVORITE SAYING OR PHRASE: panget ka!
FAVORITE RESTAURANT: bubba gump
FAVORITE FLOWER: calachuchi... hahahaahahahah
FAVORITE SPORT TO PLAY: basketball
FAVORITE DRINK: water,coffee
FAVORITE ICE CREAM: mango
FAVORITE CANDY BAR: Kitkat, time out
FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: yoshinoya, tokyo tokyo
FAVORITE SMELLS? my honey's perfume... :-)
HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU FAIL YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE: never!!!
WHICH STORE WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO MAX OUT YOUR CREDIT CARD: nike and gadget stores. hehehhe
WHAT DO YOU DO MOST OFTEN WHEN YOU ARE BORED: sleep, read a book, talk to my pc
MOST ANNOYING THING PEOPLE ASK/TELL : masungit ako, i'm annoyed by almost anything... :-P
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? my honey.. :-)
BEDTIME: 11pm earliest
FAVORITE TV SHOW?: CSI, CSI:Miami, CSI:NY, Fear Factor, Amazing Race... AXN lahat ah!
LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Hitch
WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Currently reading Blood of the Fold, 3rd book from the Sword of Truth Series by Terry Goodkind, i read books by Sidney Sheldon, John Grisham, Stephen King, and of course the Harry Potter and Lord of The Rings Series... I've also read Bob Ong's 4 books... Dan Brown...
FAVORITE COLOR: blue and green
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE: did you say alcohol?? uhm.. uhm...
DO U SMOKE?IF U DO, WHAT IS IT?: errr... Malboro Lights
ARE YOU CLEAN??: define clean... hehehehehe... of course i am... :-P
HOW ARE YOU FEELING NOW? tired but not sleepy
WHAT WILL YOU DO AFTER THIS? email some docs i finished yesterday
WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY? masungit ako
WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY? masungit ako
WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU`RE WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE?: walang tao sa paligid... hehehehe
ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? sometimes... hehehehe... masungit ako eh
THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? eyes
ARE YOU STABLE? who? me?
WHAT`S YOUR DREAM? i am in a car... driving by some flying birds and leaping dolphins... i'm with people i haven't met... the sun is shining yet the rain is coming down hard... the wind is cold and strong yet i'm sweating all over my body... i look behind me, and see an unfamiliar place... when o looked in front, i'm in my room... when i opened my eyes, i'm a the office, staring at my monitor... hehehehehehe.... bwahaahahahahahaahah
DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF? i make love to my self everyday!! haahhahahahahahaahhaahahahahahahah
ARE YOU IN-LOVE??? very much...

a forgettable unforgettable vacation

I told myself i'll write about my stay in Cebu for a vacation. It was supposed to be the perfect time for me and for my girl to be alone, and away from any distraction. It was a time we were supposed to enjoy together, alone with each other.

It went out fine. We were alone in a little world we imagined our own. We find the time together as a preview of the times we plan to spend with each other in the near future. We enjoyed it. We walked. We talked. We laughed. We lied in each other's arms.

And then. Boom! One wrong move, one small slip, wasted it all. I lost my sense of remembering. I had i touch of insensitivity. I fumbled. I made a mistake. A mistake that almost cost me my girl. It made an almost unforgettable experience a very forgetful one.

We still enjoyed the remainder of our stay there. But it was clear there where unspoken words and undeniably hurt feelings. The mistake i made proved costly. It made a gap between me and my girl that will take time to bridge again.

Now i'm trying to patch things up. I'm trying to make up for the mistake i made. I'm trying to mend wounded feelings. I'm trying to bring back lost emotions. I'm carrying this burden on my back. It was my fault anyway.

There it goes... I told my self i'll write about our stay in Cebu. But stopped myself because of what happened. And still, i wrote about it... Makulit ako, wala akong magagawa.. :-P

a sigh of relief

you can sleep now child
take the rest you deserve
everything will be fine now
it just takes a while to adjust

it will be back to where it was
you need not worry nor be in doubt
just sleep now my child
and everything will work out right

stay strong, stay fighting
though the turmoil's over
there'll still be confusion about
don't fear, don't give up
be optimistic my child
soon everything will be alright

don't change; remain who you are
nothing's wrong with you
even if you brought yourself to this mess
yourself's still not to blame
it's just a test, a trial
to know yourself, how strong you are
how determined you are
in your endeavor, in where you are right now
keep your head up my child
you're good, you'll be alright

don't lose hope;
don't lose your confidence
that's the thing you need now
remain hoping, remain wishing
but work for them, in order to have them
do what you can, do your best
to finally get hold
of the thing you wish, the thing you hope for
work hard my child
you'll have what you want in no time...

sleep now child
and wake up to a brand new start...

falling into a pit

i was so scared
i have no idea what to do
or how to escape this
i know its because of me
i know its from my own doing
i dug myself a hole
a hole, though easy to escape
will remain a hole
left there waiting
for even a little wrong move i make
ready to trap me in it
with no escape
with no getting out of
it will forever be there
a black spot
in a seemingly perfect surrounding
one bad step
and i'll fall to that pit again
i know
i have to rid my life of that hole
but i also know
that it would be near impossible
i just hope i can be somewhere
some place far away from it
to avoid it
to escape the fact that
i can still fall into it
i should be cautious
i should guard every step i take
i should not be care-free in what i do
i should always be at-guard against myself
this place could be filled with dark spots
but i'll do my best
to make the clean spots stand out
the hole would remain there
forever reminding me how i dug it
how i made it
it will always be there telling me
that though i think everything's okay
there's still that remote possibility
that i will once again step through it
making the same wrong step
and once again trap me in there
but now without escape

Finger Eleven - One Thing

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It�s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

[Chorus:]
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn�t that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don�t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

[Chorus x2]

Even though I know
I don�t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

Even though I know
I don�t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

[Chorus x3]

a wish of happiness

i wish i could turn the world around
and correct the things in the past
that i think should not have happened
i wish i could go back in time
and fix everything then
that has messed up
what could have been
perfect times for me
and for everybody

i wish i could change the way people feel
take undesired feelings from them
let them feel only those they want to feel
let them see what they want to see
i wish i could tell them things
that they wish only to hear
change the events in the past
that they want only to happen

i wish i could be in the place
of those people hurting
so that i could be the one to carry the burden
i wish i could take that feeling from them
so they can escape the hardship they're in
i wish i could control how they feel
so i can take the negative feelings away
and let them feel only the good ones

i wish i could touch their hearts
give them strength to face their fears
to give them courage to fight their foes
i wish i could inspire them
let them see what's right
let them find out the best thing to do
lead them to where they should be

i wish i was everything
i'll fix the world up
grant everybody happiness
take the sadness and longing from everyone
remove their fears
put a smile on their faces
warm their hearts
and clear their minds

i wish i could do this all
wish for everyone's happiness
and wish for everyone's success

VIVA MAPUA

For most of us, though we were not active loyalists to our schools back when we're still studying, it would still affect us in some way when we hear something about our alma mater. When our school wins a championship in an inter-school competition, or when a graduate tops a licensure exam, or if there's a breakthrough discovered by an alumni, we somehow become proud still that our school is still well known and still producing quality students and graduates. We become proud of the legacy and honor our school carries throughout the years. The same way when there are undesirable news about our school, we become saddened even humiliated sometimes if ever we hear any.

Such is the case right now with my school, my college, my alma mater. Recent events has brought down some of the schools glory. But the most recent one had the most effect on students, alumni and even the faculty.

Mapua institute of Technology has been known as the engineering school of the country. When somebody hears that you study or came from the school, you can raise your head up high because of the respect they give you when they find out that you're a "MAPUAN". The name of the school carries with it a certain pride because of the reputation it has carried in the years that it has produced well known engineers. That's why carrying the name "MAPUAN" means so much to its citizens.

Its sad to find out that, because of a change of administration. Things had to be changed in drastic ways. The switch from bi-mestral to quartermestral was one of the most notable change, as well as the dropping of the college's high school campus. And now, they're promoting the school to university status. Things could have been good for all mapua citizens but along with the change to university status, is the need to give the new and larger body with a new name. MALAYAN UNIVERSITY. Yup. MALAYAN UNIVERSITY. It will be composed of three colleges, one of which is the "original" Mapua, the college of engineering and architecture. The other two are related i think to nursing and psychology. So this means that the Mapua we know will just be a part of the university-to-be.

This change was the one that irked the mapua citizens the most. They felt that they're losing the legacy that the name "MAPUA" carries. I agree with the feeling of most of the Mapuans out there. Though they'll still give the name Mapua to the college of engineering and architecture, it can't be denied that "MAPUA" will lose some of its identity, since it will just be a name, unlike before when the name implies the whole institution.

This has brought the mapuans to unite against the pending change. Students, alumni and faculty members stood united in the middle of what can be said as a crisis. Protest movements were organized in order to voice out the feelings of the mapua citizens. This, as i recall, is the first time that such movements were organized by mapuans. This just proves that mapuans do love the institution established by the late Don Tomas Mapua. They have stood in a fight to prevent the legacy of Mapua from being lost.

I do hope that the admin heard the cause of the mapuans that cried out during the protests. I, myself, refuse to be called a graduate of MALAYAN UNIVERSITY, to be called a MALAY, MALAYAN, or whatever it is they want us to be called. I did not sweat 5 yrs worth of blood just to lose the name i achieved in my stay there in that school. I'm proud of being a MAPUAN. And whatever happens, i'll still carry that name with me.

a dark cloud on a sunny day

its dark outside
though the sun's up
it ain't shining bright
its like the rain
would just pour anytime
yet there's no sign
of dark clouds above

am i just dreaming
am i hallucinating
is my perception
deceiving me?
i can feel the darkness
though my eyes can't see it
my visions clear
but my mind is shadowed

do i run away
or do i face my fear
should i tolerate it?
or must i clear my mind
but whatever it is
things might not be
how i think of them to be
it just might be a deception
an interpretation
my thoughts are getting wrong
either way i'll just stand here
think of better feelings
look at brighter things
maybe this way
my mind could see things clearer

pangako ko sa yo

hindi ko napansin
tatlong buwan na pala kaming magkasama
parang kahapon lang
masungit pa kame sa isa't isa
pero ngayon tingnan mo
di na kami mapaghiwalay

nakakatuwa,
kasingbilis ng mga pangyayari
bago kme nagkasama
ang paglipas ng oras
na kasama namin ang isa't isa
hindi ko akalain
na magiging ganito kami
kalapit sa isa't isa
wala ding ibang taong nakapagsabi
na kaming dalawa
ay magkasama na pala

nakakatuwang isipin
totoo pala ang ilang sabi-sabi
na ang puso
hindi hinahanapan ng katuwang
ito'y kusang dumadating lang
sa oras na di mo inaasahan

masaya
dahil nga sa di inaasahan
lahat ay parang surpresa
kahit sa maliliit na bagay
natutuwa kayo sa isa' isa
hindi mo namamalayan
lumilipas na pala ang oras
na kayo'y nakaupo lang at nag-uusap
minsan kahit walang nagsasalita
nakangiti pa din kami
at masayang masaya

oo minsan may mga problema
pero balewala lahat
dahil kahit may hindi pagkakaunawaan
ang lahat ay aming napag-uusapan
kahit may konting tampo
kahit may ilang reklamo
hindi namin pinagtatagal ang mga ito
hindi namin dinadaan sa init ng ulo
walang tampo na pinapanatiling malabo

kaya ngayon nandito kami
magkasama pa din
at sa lahat ng bagay ay magkakampi
laking pagpapasalamat ko sa kanya
dahil, dahil sa kanya
natutunan ko ulit ang muling sumaya
pinakita nya ulit sa akin
kung ano ang pakiramdam
kapag alam mong
sa kahit anong oras
ika'y may tatakbuhan
ika'y may malalapitan
dahil sa kanya
puso ko'y muling naging maligaya
dahil alam ng puso ko
na hindi na ulit sya mag-iisa
habang-buhay na syang may kapiling at kasama

kaya't para sa yo
sa taong minamahal ko
alay ko sa yo ang puso ko
dahil ikaw ang nagbigay buhay muli dito
salamat sa yo,
mamahalin kita habangbuhay
yan ang pangako ko sa iyo

having you, having each other

we could just sit anywhere
we don't ever care
whether there's something
to talk about
or something to laugh about
just being with each other
is enough reason
to last the night
just staring at the skies
watching the light fade
waiting for the stars
to blossom in the night

we could just walk around
moving our feet aimlessly
wandering about
hand-in-hand
where we're going's not
important
just to walk side by side
have one in the other's arm
even if our feet burn
it doesn't matter
just as long as we walk together
with my arms and hand over your shoulder

it really doesn't matter
where we are
what we're up to
or how we deal with things
just as long as you're with me wherever i am
you're with me in whatever i do
nothing would really matter
just as long as we have each other

who am i? i ask myself

i'm misunderstood
i don't know what it is i do
i can't understand why
though i try to be on the good side
its the other side that shows
is it me?
is it what i do?
is it something heard from me?
i don't know
i think i have to search myself
there might be something wrong with me
but what i'm aware of,
i can't see anything wrong
in what i do
i was always like this
maybe not all the time
but this is me
i always try to open myself up
and show what i really am
maybe its not enough
maybe i still need to open up more
maybe that way
i can be understood better
maybe that way
i can be known more
and in that way
my bright side could be seen
despite the dark spots
that sometimes cloud in front of me

tuesdays with morrie

after several months of hearing about this book, i finally had time to read it. it was a highly recommended book. so when i had the chance to read it, i didn't pass on it.

the book was about Morrie, a professor who's dying of ALS, and Mitch, one of his students and the writer of the book. the book told the story of what the Morrie described as their last thesis. morrie and mitch talked about one important part of our life, searching for its meaning, looking for the reason of our existence in this world. mitch taught morrie a lot of things about life which he only realized when he knew he was dying. he passed this on to mitch, who patiently stayed by his side, every tuesday, spending his time in the last days of his professor.

i found the book very enlightening. but at the same time, you feel sadness both from knowing that the person the book talks about is dying, and knowing that what he talked about are facts of our lives that we don't get to think about everyday. every word, every "lesson" given by morrie to mitch, are things we have to keep in mind while we are still living. morrie's "aphorisms" are the answers to our quest for the meaning of our life.

i'm sure everyone who read the book would be moved by morrie's story. you would admire how he faced the remaining days of his life. you'll admire how he faced death. most of us would be too afraid and depressed knowing that you could be taking your last breath anytime. but not morrie. he took his remaining breaths as a way to discover what life is, his purpose of existence. in this way, he overcame the fear of dying and the feeling of loss. he did not let the thought of dying to hinder his mind from recognizing the beauty of life. and the best thing he did is to share his thoughts to mitch, his student and friend.

here are some of the thoughts morrie gave to mitch during their tuesday sessions:
1. the most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. "Love is the only rational act"
2. once you learn how to die, you learn how to live
3. love each other, or perish
4. learn to detach. allow yourself to dive into your emotions and grief, and when you experience them fully and completely, you'll know what pain is, you'll know what love is, you'll know what grief is. only then can you say that you've experienced that emotion, you recognize that emotion, it's time to detach yourself from that emotion.
5. devote yourself to loving others. devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creatingsomething that gives you meaning and purpose.
6. each night when i go to sleep i die. and the next morning, when i wake up, i am reborn (mahatma gandhi)
7. love is how you stay alive
8. don't let go too soon, but don't hang on too long
9. forgive yourselves before you die, then forgive others.
10. death ends a life, not a relationship
11. you're not a wave, you're part of the ocean